#7: Plaster

Plaster is white, and it can be liquid and sticky or solid and hard. Most people’s first experience is using plaster of Paris to make molds of ballons (or their faces, see above) in elementary school. But they don’t often realize that they are already very familiar with our old friend plaster, as it is probably on their walls.

#6: Cream Cheese

Cream cheese is a cheese spread you put on toast or on a bagel or in a cheesecake. It’s white and creamy and goes well with lox; generally speaking, people have it around breakfast time, though it also makes an appearance at lunch, esp. at catered events.

#5: Plastic Bags

Bag bags bags

People like them for their groceries, for their Chinese take-out, wrapped around a brown bag that contains an alcoholic beverage, double-bagged to hold in their six-pack, or as a way to conceal an embarrassing box of tampons. They also like to keep a collection of them inside of a bigger plastic bag underneath the sink in the kitchen in hopes of someday reusing them. When that day does not come, they all get thrown out.

#4: Swans

Swan swan

More than cursive letters and champagne flutes, swans define the word “elegance.” No wonder people like them so much. The way their neck curves back just so and how they glide along like a puck on an air hockey table—simply beautiful. Another reason people like swans is that they have the whitest, most pristine bird-coat. How do they keep it so spotless?!

#3: Mayo


Mayo is a spread. What’s that? It’s a semi-viscous substance that you can put on a sandwich is what. You “spread” it, so. It’s made with eggs and oil and vinegar and other things that make it white. It’s a pretty popular sandwich condiment, though in some places people also use it on fries, and sometimes people have long conversations about how weird it is that some people like it on fries. (THANKS FOR THE TIP!)

#2: Cocaine

Flickr picture from 0595

Apparently a lot of people like cocaine. It is a drug; in fact, it is the drug with the highest sales every year, so it must be popular. It is usually comes in a white powder form. People seem to really like it! Sometimes they will kill each other to get it, too.

#1: Snow

Flickr image from foto3116

Not everyone likes snow. Some people do: They use it to ski or make snowmen, or sometimes it makes them happy because they’ve rented a cabin upstate and the snow prevents them from returning on Monday to their lifeless, soul-crushing job. Some people object to snow because it is cold.